The Bad Girl’s Guide to Working in High Heels

Hmm, this is a tough thing to address because heels can be a pain in the ass (literally!).  So, first ask yourself, do you have to wear heels to work?  It’s easy enough to find that out – how many of your colleagues are wearing flats?  Are you comfortable in flats?  See, this Bad Girls loves the authoritative click-clack that a fierce pair of stiletto pumps makes while walking down the wooden hallway between offices.  Aside from that, the office I work at kind of mandates heels, even the director admits “this is all about appearance” (and no, I do not work for a magazine!).

So, if flats don’t work for you head over to the mall (afternoon-ish, preferably) and look for something that’s low to medium heeled (one to two inches will do), preferably in a black leather (invest in a good pair, especially if you’ll be wearing them everyday!) and basic shape.  Basic pumps (round toe or pointy toed will do).

Before you buy, walk around (a lot).  Things to avoid?  Your foot sliding in and out or feeling like your toes are crammed.  If they’re too high now, they’ll be too high at work.  If they hurt, DON’T get them.

Now, after you’ve found the perfect pair head over to the accessories section and pick up some inserts, usually foam or gel.  You can also get them at a local pharmacy.  These will make your day so much more pleasureable, take my word for it.

PS – This Bad Girl wears Aldo’s “Sandee” black pump.

The Bad Girl’s Guide to being a Good Listener

So this is an important one, and something I’m not quite perfect at (or near) but working on it every day!  It’s common knowledge that Bad Girls might want to be the talkers, the center-of-attention, the ones who KNOW what they’re talking about.  However, even in those cases, it’s just as important to take in what others are saying (verbal and non-verbal) and not just hear them, but actually listen.

As a Bad Girl with a brain, I find it hard (and annoying) to have to “dumb myself down” when someone who thinks they’re so much smarter (read: boss, professor, colleague, guy at bar) talks down to me in reference to things that they think I don’t know about (ie - business).  Now, Bad Girls have a few options in those cases, but my favourite thing to do is listen, intently, to EVERYTHING someone is telling me, because whether it’s about science, medicine, business, economics, politics, religion, cars, etc, there’s always the chance that they’re going to teach me something.  Now, I try not to dumb myself down, but instead, ask simple open-ended questions and act interested (even just a bit) on the topic.  When appearing interested in that “non-threatening” Bad Girl way (read: you not intimidating them with your intelligent self!) people will open up and exponentially increase your chances of learning something…anything.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  In some cases, I’ve had people use my favourite condescending phrases such as:

“You probably have no idea what I’m talking about but…”

“This must be over your head…”

“I know you don’t understand what I’m saying…”

Wow.  Those really put me over the edge.  When this happens, I try not to be snappy or smarmy, but instead gently let them know that I have a helluva good idea of what they’re talking about.  If they persist, conversation is over!

Other quick tips on good listening:

Don’t interrupt the person!  Oh my goodness, this is DEFINITELY the hardest one for me.  Sometimes I get so excited about something I have to say, or the other person is just boring me to tears but girl, use some self control!  If you listen to what someone has to say, expect them to do the same for you.  My significant other, (let’s call him Bums because of a certain favourite body part) says I do this all the time (I know, I’m bad) but sometimes, when he cuts me off, I remind him of how much it bothers him when I do it.  A Bad Girl friend of mine and I can converse for hours, cutting each other off constantly, but we don’t care, these are rare kinds of relationships.  It really depends on who you’re talking to but just as a baseline, let’s make this a Don’t.

Don’t fiddle around with something while someone is talking to you.  There are exceptions - when they know you’re busy and want your attention anyways, and/or if you’re working.  Bums hates it when I play on my SmackBerry while he’s talking…it’s definitely a habit I’m trying to break.

Make eye contact…at least on important points.  Gesture, but not too much.  If you’re talking to a boy, cock your head slightly to the side because apparently, men do that, and interpret that gesture as listening intently.

Read between the non-verbal lines – is your partner shifting their weight around?  Either their shoes hurt or they really want to go away.  Arms crossed?  Cold, or uninterested…use your best judgement.

And, last but not least – tailor these rules to your specific scenario!

Jumping right in

I’m going to skip all the boring reasons as to why I’m writing this blog, and instead, just jump right in to posting the tips and tidbits I’m picking up along the way (to where, I don’t know just yet).

You’ll find the posts categorized according to what’s most relevant.  I’ll try and keep them organized.  If you have any questions/comments/complaints, don’t hesitate to send an e-mail.  Well, if you have complaints, hesitate just a little.

PS – This is just for fun, and although there will be lots of advice and anecdotes posted, feel free to take them and twist them to suit your needs.  If I had to list the number one rule for being a Bad Girl, it would be that She needs to be adaptable and quick on her feet (even in three-inch heels), so if something I’m saying doesn’t quite suit your need, just tailor it a bit.  I’m just sharing my mistakes, achievements, and observations en route but I’m no pro!